As a counsellor working with people online and from my practice in West London, Oxford and Cheltenham, I've seen how the simple act of validation can transform relationships. Whether with partners, family members, or friends, feeling truly heard and understood creates powerful connections. Yet many of us struggle to validate others' feelings effectively, often jumping straight to problem-solving or inadvertently dismissing emotions.

Understanding Validation

Validation means acknowledging and accepting another person's emotional experience, even if we see things differently. It's not about agreeing with their perspective or fixing their problems – it's about showing them that their feelings matter and make sense given their experiences.

Common Validation Mistakes

Sometimes, in our eagerness to help, we respond in ways that can feel invalidating. Saying things like "Don't worry about it" or "Look on the bright side" might seem supportive, but can actually make someone feel dismissed or misunderstood. Even well-intentioned advice-giving can get in the way of true validation.

The Power of Validation

When we validate others' emotions, we create a safe space for them to express themselves honestly. This builds trust, deepens understanding, and strengthens emotional bonds. People who feel validated are more likely to open up about their feelings and work through challenges constructively.

Practical Validation Skills

Effective validation involves both verbal and non-verbal elements:

• Using phrases like "That sounds really difficult" or "It makes sense you'd feel that way"
• Maintaining eye contact and open body language
• Giving someone your full attention
• Reflecting back what you've heard to show understanding

Building Better Relationships Through Validation

Learning to validate others' emotions takes practice and patience. It might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you weren't validated much yourself growing up. Remember that validation doesn't mean you have to fix anything – sometimes just being present and understanding is exactly what someone needs.

Self-Validation

While validating others is important, don't forget about self-validation. Learning to acknowledge and accept your own feelings is equally valuable for emotional well-being and healthy relationships.

If you're finding it challenging to build validation skills or want to improve your relationships through better emotional understanding, I'm here to help. At Hope and Harmony, we can work together to develop these crucial skills and strengthen your connections with others. Remember, small changes in how we respond to each other can lead to significant improvements in our relationships.